Rewrite Blues

It's rewrite time again. At least, it will be when the guys at Flux send me their notes. Seems they had a computer crash and lost those notes, and they have to re-type them. Happens to the best of us.

But when I do get those notes, it will be time to do a new draft of The Cupid War, my next novel. I'm always a little anxious about this process, but I understand it is a chance for me to get valuable feedback. I do goof up sometimes (no really, I do), and I welcome the chance to make the book better.

There are times, however, when rewrites can be a daunting process. I still have yet to type up the last chapter of A Walk-In To Remember, the last manuscript I finished. I can't bear to think of revising that one. I've also been putting off a revision of Kids Who Know, one of my recently-finished manuscripts, for half a year now. I'm sure it will be my best novel, and that scares me; what if I re-read it and find out it's crap?

That's not the only reason, of course, or even the main one. It's my mood disorder, an affliction that has put a real dent into my productivity this year. My motivation gets sucked out of me, and I find it very hard to get things done. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and have had less success this past year managing them than I have in previous years. I'll do a blog post all about that sometime soon.

None of this bodes well for my upcoming rewrite of The Cupid War. What if they want a really big change? Both Evil? and Epoch required a couple of chapters to be completely rewritten. What if I'm not up for a major plot overhaul?

Still, anxious though I may sound, I know I'll end up doing a good job. This is my fourth novel with Flux, so it's not like I haven't managed it before. Come spring, the best possible version of The Cupid War will hit the stands. I just have to get there.

And I will.