2014, And the Stuff That Happened To Me In It

So, the New Year is here, as it always seems to be this time of year. Time to look back, time to look forward, time to make promises - sorry, resolutions - one has no intention of keeping (if pop culture is to be believed, which it usually is).

2014 was a good year for me. And, as a person living with depression and anxiety, I do not say such a thing lightly. Speaking of which, I've been tapering off one of my medications. If I can get off it completely while still remaining healthy, I'll be very happy (no pun intended).

So, what else was good in 2014? Let's take a look:

I sold the movie rights option for Evil, one of my best novels. I finished and posted a novel-length (or at least novella-length) work of Doctor Who fan-fiction, which you can find here. And, in the last couple of days before the year ended, I finished the first draft of I, Suicide, a Cupid War spinoff four years in the writing. I wrote a few short stories too, one of which is a Cupid War story! You'll be seeing that here before too long.

I was employed for well over half the year. Not bad, but I can do better. One resolution of mine is to break away from temp agencies. I'll say more about that in another post.

I visited my sister Claire in Regina. That did both of us a lot of good.

I gave up soft drinks, with only one relapse; I drank a half-litre bottle of Pepsi at my sister's place. Bad Tim! But the ginger ale I drank while I was fighting a cold does NOT count! That was for medicinal purposes. It's funny, people have asked me if I feel any better now that I've (mostly) stopped drinking pop. Honestly, I don't feel any different.

I went to four conventions this year, five if you count the Fan Expo (I don't). Each one brought me closer to my fandom friends while introducing me to new ones. Two cons were out of Toronto, another bold step forward in my self-promotion. Before you know it, I'll be a star attraction at San Diego ComicCon! Well, I can dream. Might as well dream big!

Not everything was good. Last month I got notice that The Cupid War is now out of print. I also removed Closets from SynergEbooks, so the only titles I have available are Section K (paperback) and The Five Demons You Meet In Hell (ebook). My novel-writing career has taken a huge hit, and it will take a lot to bounce back.

Part of that bouncing back will involve re-releasing Closets through Smashwords. I'm also planning to release my next ebook, Apoca-Lynn, through Smashwords on Valentine's Day. I'll keep writing, of course: next up is a sequel to Apoca-Lynn, and the continuation of Zombie Jesus Day. I have a lot to do, and for that I'll need a lot of motivation and energy.

Hello, 2015. Here we go!

An Excellent Title For This Post Is

A lot has happened since I last sat down to post. For one, I've given up soft drinks. Cherry Coke, Pepsi Twist, Doctor Pepper, Orange Crush, 7-Up... all are off my menu, and I'm a little bit healthier. Yay, me. Good god I miss them.

I've been to two conventions in the last few weeks, with another coming up this month. I'll blog about them separately, just as soon as I kick my ass to do it. In short, they were fun, they were wonderful, and they were learning experiences as well. Socially speaking, I'm still struggling. At least, I feel that way.

My depression has been more manageable lately. It helps that I'm currently employed; money is less of a stress. I've landed another data entry position at a bank, and it should run until the end of February.

I'm 90% through the first draft of I, Suicide, my spinoff novel from The Cupid War. I've been at it for three years now, and it's quite a different beast from my usual output. I'll be glad to see it finished.

The Five Demons You Meet In Hell is, in my view, a failure. It was a good first foray into digital self-publishing, and I've been told the vast majority of ebooks sell even worse due to authors being unknown to the masses. That was nice to hear, but 32 sales is still terrible. Nevertheless, I am going ahead with Apoca-Lynn. Glutton for punishment, am I? Maybe. But not ready to give up yet, either. I'm also going to re-launch Closets.

That's where I'm at right now. Blogging hasn't been easy, but I'm making an effort to get back to it. I still have a lot more to say.

Bane of the Doctor - An Adventure in Fanfiction

In my last post, I discussed the status of my writing life and how things hadn't exactly gone according to plan. My main novel projects are stalled - I've been trying to write Chapter 16 of my Cupid War spinoff I, Suicide for the last three weeks - and blog posts such as this one have been few and far between (not that that's anything new, I'm afraid).

The only thing I've made any kind of progress on is a Doctor Who fanfic story. That has actually been going really well. And it's pretty much the only thing I've got to show for myself for the last seven months. I call it Bane of the Doctor, and it's a multi-part saga filled with references and popular characters, and a villain of my own creation.

I'm publishing the story on Archive of our Own. Here is a link to a prelude story, and this link will take you to the first chapter. I also chose to re-publish my first Doctor Who fanfic story, Happy Landings, found here.

The second chapter of this epic will be posted very soon. I'm hoping to release an episode every month.

Stay tuned, fellow Whovians!

My 2013 Post

So, 2013. Time to look back on it. And for the purposes of blogging, time to reflect on what was good or great about last year, and express positive hopes about the year just begun. Very important not to dwell on the bad stuff, as that would be Unprofessional and No Fun To Read, and just plain WRONG. It might get Too Personal, and nobody really wants that.

Except, I always try to tell the truth on this blog. Or at least, I always want to. I've whitewashed events or glossed over hurts for fear that it would Reveal Too Much, and Drive Readers Away. This blog's main goal is to attract new readers to my work, and to entertain and involve current readers in what I'm up to. It should not be about my personal life, unless it is to mark a positive occasion, or has something to do with my cats.

Everyone loves cat pictures.

But, regardless of what I Should or Should Not say in this blog, I'm going to discuss 2013 for what it was. I suffer from Depression, so even the negative events are positives when you consider that I got through them.

So, what was 2013 for me?

It was the year I landed a decent temp assignment, one that kept the bills paid from January through to June. For the first half of the year, Violet and I had financial stability. The company I worked for liked me so much that they kept me on when one contract ended, then extended my contract two more times. I was well liked by the people I worked with... except for just one person.

It was the year I failed, yet again, to deal with a workplace bully. I stood up to that bully, which for me is huge, but that didn't make things any better. I consider this a personal failure because I wasn't able to brush off this bully's behaviour as the antics of an insecure person. I couldn't just "not be bothered" by this person. I took it personally, I felt weak, and I couldn't rise above it. I still can't.

It was the year I finally qualified for Employment Insurance! That helped tremendously, because I couldn't find any more work until just recently. Job searching continues to be a hard and painful struggle for me. EI allowed us to survive the lean summer and fall months while we dished out resume after resume into the void.

It was the year Violet graduated from George Brown College with a diploma in Graphic Design! Very, very proud of her. This is a huge step forward for her career. My parents came up from Ottawa to be there for the graduation ceremony, and took us out to dinner afterward. Splendid days!

I finished the first draft of a new novel that I feel extremely positive about. I call it I'm So Goddamn Sick of Vampires. I still have to edit it quite a bit, but it is a good story and breaks new ground for me as an author. I also wrote a couple of new short stories, continued working on a Cupid War spinoff I'd started but abandoned in 2011, began a new Doctor Who fanfiction story, and wrote the first 3rd of a new YA Horror Comedy as well.

One of those new short stories had been written specifically for an anthology, following encouragement that I interpreted as a request from the anthology's editors. They turned it down. Second time that’s happened to me. Third, actually, if you count the time a magazine asked me to rewrite a story from a different character’s point of view and then turned that version down, too. That was a kick in the balls. Nevertheless I'm proud of that story, and Violet said it was one of my best.

I wrote numerous articles for Toronto.com. It was a great experience, and gave me a new perspective on professional article writing. For one article, I interviewed two of my co-workers for information on wedding venues. It was a fun experience that I enjoyed tremendously, and the pay was decent, too!

Then, the former editor returned and made some policy changes. One such change was to reduce the fee for articles by half. I decided my writing is still worth the same as before, so I haven't accepted any new assignments from them. A shame. It was great while it lasted.

Doctor Who celebrated its 50th Anniversary! As a big fan of the show, this was a big deal for me. The anniversary special, The Day of The Doctor, did not disappoint, and it was fun having it to look forward to all year.

I attended four conventions this year: Ad Astra, GenreCon, SFContario and Reversed Polarity. GenreCon was especially important for me, for two reasons. One, it wasn't in Toronto; the decision to do a con in Guelph was a big one for me. Two, I was asked by the organizers to come and be a part of the programming. What an honour! That meant so much to me.

I haven't written about my experiences at SFContario this year, or the panel I did at Reversed Polarity. Both were fun experiences, and both presented new challenges. I didn't write posts about those cons, or any posts since November, for reasons I will make clear momentarily.

It was the year I released a new novel, The Five Demons You Meet In Hell! I self-published the book through Smashwords, and it is my second attempt to break into the ebook market (Closets was the first). A good friend of mine, Sarah Water Raven, did a spectacular cover for me, and made me flyers that I handed out at my last three conventions. It was great to get back into the game once more, and with all the promotion I was giving it through my social media sites, I was certain it would be a success!

It wasn't. Or, to be slightly less negative, it hasn't been a success yet. From the day I released it, November 13, until today, I have sold exactly nine copies.

Nine.

9.

I haven’t even been able to break into double digits.

What, I’ve been asking myself, have I been doing wrong? Promoted it at conventions with flyers? Check. Even did a reading from it at GenreCon. Promoted it on the blog? Check. On Facebook? Checkity-check. Fan page and everything. Twitter, too. I have over 1,000 followers on Twitter, and nearly 1,500 Facebook Friends. That’s a lot, isn’t it? And I did special deals, like dropping the price to 99 cents on Black Friday. I figured I’d have sold at least 100 copies by now.

But I haven’t. I’ve sold nine.

NINE.

What. The. Fuck?

I did not take this disappointment well. I went into a serious funk, what many would call ‘Feeling Sorry For Myself’ but a select few would acknowledge as ‘A Depressed Person Dealing With Bad News’. I stopped blogging, withdrew even further from social activities, didn’t even bother to plan my birthday party until the last minute. And on a few dark days, I thought of suicide once more. Not terribly seriously, and never with intent, but always with a strong desire to just Stop. It seemed as if all my efforts, all my hard work, simply hadn’t paid off, and the future did not look bright at all.

I got through it. I always do, with friends and family helping me. I’m feeling better about things, and putting the poor sales of 5 Demons into a different perspective. It’s not the final crashing and burning of my writing career; rather, it is just another learning experience along the way. The book hasn’t had any reviews yet; my next goal is to get some. And, of course, to keep producing output.

So, 2014. Resolutions? Nah. Not unless I can think of some funny ones. What I will do is keep writing, keep going, keep believing in a future where that payoff comes.

And right now, I do believe.

Today is a good day.

New Business

I'm working on a new business plan for myself. My old novel-writing plan hasn't worked out, and it is well past time I swallowed that bitter pill.

The novels I've put out so far have all taken place in different worlds - stand-alones, in other words, with no recurring characters (even my demons have been different!). I really want to do a series, and my current project Zombie Jesus Day will play into that; it is set in the same universe as my last project, I'm So Goddamn Sick of Vampires. I have ideas for more stories in this universe, including an ongoing mythology, and I might even be able to work in a half-finished project from six years ago.

This new universe is where I feel I should be devoting my creative energy. That means I shouldn't be working on stories that aren't part of this new world, including followups to Evil and The Cupid War. I really want to finish I, Suicide, my Cupid War spinoff; a number of readers have asked me for Cupid War and Evil sequels. However, Evil and Epoch went out of print last year, and I fear The Cupid War will soon join them. Building upon those worlds simply isn't practical for me at this point.

I probably will finish I, Suicide, however. I'm invested in it, and it would be a shame to throw away all that material. It will remain a backup project, and will likely see publication as a self-published ebook. Not that my success rate with ebooks has been particularly high (anyone want to buy an e-copy of Closets? Please?).

Nevertheless, I do feel I should stop working on I, Suicide. I'm being all artist, and I need to be more businessman. On the other hand, I've learned never to stifle my muse. If it wants a story told, that's always been good enough for me. And who's to say I, Suicide won't be a big hit?

Nobody, that's who.

All I'm really saying is, I feel I need more focus, more discipline, and a fresh start in a new universe will get me a lot closer to that goal. That's the plan.

Let's see how it goes.

Welcome To September 2012

It's going to be a busy month for me. There is a strong possibility I will have a new job by the end of this week, for one thing. I also anticipate finishing my current novel project this month; I'm on Chapter 31, right in the heart of the climax! Another two chapters and an epilogue, methinks.

When that's done, I'll need to pick a new project. As always, I have a wealth of ideas. I also have a couple of projects I could return to.

In the middle of the month I'll be in Ottawa for Can-Con, another science fiction convention. It will be my second time doing an out-of-Toronto con, and I've wanted to do this one for a very long time. Why? Because it's in Ottawa, the town where I grew up! Aside from Can-Con, I will visit my parents and a few old friends and generally have a good time. Expect a full report here in a few weeks!

I will also unleash a new short story on my readers sometime this month. The story is set in the Cupid War universe, and will expand on something the novel only touched on briefly. More details to come soon.

With all this to look forward to, September is looking to be a pretty good month for me!

Polaris 2012

Once again, Polaris was a fantastic experience for me. I sold 12 books, including five copies of The Cupid War, and I also sold off a large number of toys from my collection. Good thing, too, because I spent over a hundred dollars on Doctor Who toys! I felt a little guilty about that, but luckily my toy sales covered that bit of splurging.

My panels, for the most part, went very well.

I did six, five of them fandom-related and one of them focusing on Internet communication and social media. I would have liked to have done more professional panels and writing panels, but I’m still very grateful for the schedule I had. Along with the Internet panel, I did two Star Trek panels (Defending Voyager, remembering TNG), two Doctor Who panels (Madman With A Box, 50th Anniversary Approaching), and one on the 15th anniversary of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. The Star Trek and Doctor Who panels were lots of fun, with lots of interesting points raised, friendly disagreements on the quality of certain episodes, and plenty of fond memories remembered.

The Buffy panel, on the other hand, was very difficult. I was moderator for that one and the room was packed, making the juggling of speaking time and audience questions tricky.

That I could have handled without much stress, but I also had to contend with a live, in-the-flesh embodiment of The Simpson’s ‘Comic-Book Guy’. He called me an idiot in front of the entire room because I liked something that he did not. I was taken aback – that is not appropriate panelist behaviour, to say the least - and I did not let it pass. I told him if he insulted me again, I’d have him removed. Good for me for standing up for myself, I say. Still, I’m grateful the guy did not choose to challenge me on the point. I’m not sure what I would have (or could have) done then. He continued to be difficult, and showed no respect for my role as moderator, but I made it through the panel with most of my dignity intact.

On a much more positive note, I made some new friends and cemented a few old ones.One fan and Facebook friend sought me out on Sunday to have her copy of The Cupid War signed. And she’d made a booklet out of Walk of Evil, complete with cover! That was extremely cool. Another friend I made that morning on the bus ride in picked up a copy of Section K. One of my fellow panelists, Graeme Burk, co-authored a book on Doctor Who, titled Who Is The Doctor? I look forward to reading it (even if he didn’t like A Good Man Goes To War!).

And I saw my favourite group of Doctor Who-costumed ladies – always a highlight of the con.

And there were Daleks! Woo-hoo! I mean, Ex-ter-mi-Nate!

When it was over, I left without feeling the usual crushing post-con depression. Instead I was simply content. Another good con. Let there be more!


I’ve heard there may not be a Polaris con next year. Things are changing – there’s talk of a different event in November – and nobody’s entirely sure what will happen yet. Time will tell.

Polaris is Upon Me Again!

Tomorrow I will be heading out to that hotel in Markham to once again experience the awesomeness that is Polaris. I have a box full of books to sell, lots of flyers to distribute, and good friends to see again.



This time, however, I will not be plugging anything new. Over the last few years I’ve either been releasing a new novel a month after Polaris, or I’ve just learned I will be releasing one the following year. There is no new book under contract for me to announce this year, unfortunately.



Nevertheless, I will be there to market what I do have. Good times are ahead, and I can’t wait!



Oh, wait, yes I can. I’m not going tonight for the opening ceremonies/blastoff party. I still have some things to prepare, and panels to prepare for, but mostly I won’t be going because I’m simply too tired. Friday night will be for relaxing, so I can hit the convention fresh first thing Saturday morning!

Interviewed by Amaleen Ison

Fellow author and book blogger Amaleen Ison recently did an interview with me. I posted all about it on Facebook and Twitter, and I'm now finally posting about it here. Please click here to read it and gain many insights into my marvelous mind! I mainly discuss The Cupid War, but there are questions about writing in general and a shout-out to my two favourite authors!