Day-to-Day Depression

I love the way people assume that when I’m not writing, I’m doing editing or promoting or some other author-centred bit of business. They’d probably have a lot less respect for me if they knew how much time I devote to Candy Crush.

After all, writing is a Serious Business, and if one isn’t Dedicated to Working Hard, then one isn’t a Real Writer at all, and just a Waste of More Important Writers’ Time. While that last sentence is bursting at the seams with bullshit, I’ve met many an author/editor (or person who thinks they are an author or editor) who holds that opinion. What I take away from that is that my writing ‘street cred’ isn’t as high as it should be.

I suffer from a combination of depression, anxiety, and general laziness, and I’m never sure which one has the most influence. I know what Serious Writers would say, and I’m unable to prove them wrong. If it was just laziness, however, I could get over it and get on with things.

A typical day in the life of Tim happens something like this – get up, feed the cats, go to work, come home, Candy Crush and bed. Somewhere in there, I write. Most of my best writing comes during the half-hour before work, which these days is a temp job that barely pays almost what I need to survive. During the work day, I’ll look forward to all the writing-related stuff I can get to when I’m home. When I get home, however, my energy and motivation are gone.

Well, I must get so much done during those long employment gaps between temp jobs, right? If only. I’ll get up, feed the cats, go back to bed, sleep in, get up again for food, feed the cats again, think about doing something useful with my time, take a nap, try and get myself out of the condo to do some writing, come back, do something about supper, Candy Crush, bed. It takes an herculean amount of will to get me onto my computer to do some actual work. Or, you know, look for a job.

I don’t like talking about this side of me, because what are people likely to say? If I want things to get better, I should do something about it! Stop the pity party and pull myself up by my bootstraps, because success won’t just happen. Stop feeling sorry for myself, and using my mental health as an excuse not to succeed. If I point out they wouldn’t say the same thing to someone living with cancer, I’ll get: “Are you really comparing your mental health to cancer?”

Yeah, I do use my mood disorder as an excuse. Doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I don’t know where my depression ends and my laziness begins, so when I’m accused of not putting the effort in my critics are never entirely wrong. Trouble is, getting on with things is extremely hard, and getting harder every day.

I could have had Apoca-Lynn out months ago. Same for Closets. I could be having great success with my other projects, if I could only get to them. I want to get my work back out there, into the hands of agents and publishers. I want to have a solid marketing campaign on several social media platforms. All I can manage, though, is what I’m currently doing.

Sometimes, I beat the laziness. I send out some resumes, I fix a problem in a manuscript, I do something that matters. It’s never enough. Not if I want to succeed as an author.

I do what I can. And feel badly about what I don’t. I’m sick, and I am lazy. But I wasn’t always this lazy.

The world doesn’t care about mental illness, only about results. You won’t succeed at writing by playing Candy Crush, Tim! Stop making excuses and work! What do you think you are, a cancer patient?

My 2013 Post

So, 2013. Time to look back on it. And for the purposes of blogging, time to reflect on what was good or great about last year, and express positive hopes about the year just begun. Very important not to dwell on the bad stuff, as that would be Unprofessional and No Fun To Read, and just plain WRONG. It might get Too Personal, and nobody really wants that.

Except, I always try to tell the truth on this blog. Or at least, I always want to. I've whitewashed events or glossed over hurts for fear that it would Reveal Too Much, and Drive Readers Away. This blog's main goal is to attract new readers to my work, and to entertain and involve current readers in what I'm up to. It should not be about my personal life, unless it is to mark a positive occasion, or has something to do with my cats.

Everyone loves cat pictures.

But, regardless of what I Should or Should Not say in this blog, I'm going to discuss 2013 for what it was. I suffer from Depression, so even the negative events are positives when you consider that I got through them.

So, what was 2013 for me?

It was the year I landed a decent temp assignment, one that kept the bills paid from January through to June. For the first half of the year, Violet and I had financial stability. The company I worked for liked me so much that they kept me on when one contract ended, then extended my contract two more times. I was well liked by the people I worked with... except for just one person.

It was the year I failed, yet again, to deal with a workplace bully. I stood up to that bully, which for me is huge, but that didn't make things any better. I consider this a personal failure because I wasn't able to brush off this bully's behaviour as the antics of an insecure person. I couldn't just "not be bothered" by this person. I took it personally, I felt weak, and I couldn't rise above it. I still can't.

It was the year I finally qualified for Employment Insurance! That helped tremendously, because I couldn't find any more work until just recently. Job searching continues to be a hard and painful struggle for me. EI allowed us to survive the lean summer and fall months while we dished out resume after resume into the void.

It was the year Violet graduated from George Brown College with a diploma in Graphic Design! Very, very proud of her. This is a huge step forward for her career. My parents came up from Ottawa to be there for the graduation ceremony, and took us out to dinner afterward. Splendid days!

I finished the first draft of a new novel that I feel extremely positive about. I call it I'm So Goddamn Sick of Vampires. I still have to edit it quite a bit, but it is a good story and breaks new ground for me as an author. I also wrote a couple of new short stories, continued working on a Cupid War spinoff I'd started but abandoned in 2011, began a new Doctor Who fanfiction story, and wrote the first 3rd of a new YA Horror Comedy as well.

One of those new short stories had been written specifically for an anthology, following encouragement that I interpreted as a request from the anthology's editors. They turned it down. Second time that’s happened to me. Third, actually, if you count the time a magazine asked me to rewrite a story from a different character’s point of view and then turned that version down, too. That was a kick in the balls. Nevertheless I'm proud of that story, and Violet said it was one of my best.

I wrote numerous articles for Toronto.com. It was a great experience, and gave me a new perspective on professional article writing. For one article, I interviewed two of my co-workers for information on wedding venues. It was a fun experience that I enjoyed tremendously, and the pay was decent, too!

Then, the former editor returned and made some policy changes. One such change was to reduce the fee for articles by half. I decided my writing is still worth the same as before, so I haven't accepted any new assignments from them. A shame. It was great while it lasted.

Doctor Who celebrated its 50th Anniversary! As a big fan of the show, this was a big deal for me. The anniversary special, The Day of The Doctor, did not disappoint, and it was fun having it to look forward to all year.

I attended four conventions this year: Ad Astra, GenreCon, SFContario and Reversed Polarity. GenreCon was especially important for me, for two reasons. One, it wasn't in Toronto; the decision to do a con in Guelph was a big one for me. Two, I was asked by the organizers to come and be a part of the programming. What an honour! That meant so much to me.

I haven't written about my experiences at SFContario this year, or the panel I did at Reversed Polarity. Both were fun experiences, and both presented new challenges. I didn't write posts about those cons, or any posts since November, for reasons I will make clear momentarily.

It was the year I released a new novel, The Five Demons You Meet In Hell! I self-published the book through Smashwords, and it is my second attempt to break into the ebook market (Closets was the first). A good friend of mine, Sarah Water Raven, did a spectacular cover for me, and made me flyers that I handed out at my last three conventions. It was great to get back into the game once more, and with all the promotion I was giving it through my social media sites, I was certain it would be a success!

It wasn't. Or, to be slightly less negative, it hasn't been a success yet. From the day I released it, November 13, until today, I have sold exactly nine copies.

Nine.

9.

I haven’t even been able to break into double digits.

What, I’ve been asking myself, have I been doing wrong? Promoted it at conventions with flyers? Check. Even did a reading from it at GenreCon. Promoted it on the blog? Check. On Facebook? Checkity-check. Fan page and everything. Twitter, too. I have over 1,000 followers on Twitter, and nearly 1,500 Facebook Friends. That’s a lot, isn’t it? And I did special deals, like dropping the price to 99 cents on Black Friday. I figured I’d have sold at least 100 copies by now.

But I haven’t. I’ve sold nine.

NINE.

What. The. Fuck?

I did not take this disappointment well. I went into a serious funk, what many would call ‘Feeling Sorry For Myself’ but a select few would acknowledge as ‘A Depressed Person Dealing With Bad News’. I stopped blogging, withdrew even further from social activities, didn’t even bother to plan my birthday party until the last minute. And on a few dark days, I thought of suicide once more. Not terribly seriously, and never with intent, but always with a strong desire to just Stop. It seemed as if all my efforts, all my hard work, simply hadn’t paid off, and the future did not look bright at all.

I got through it. I always do, with friends and family helping me. I’m feeling better about things, and putting the poor sales of 5 Demons into a different perspective. It’s not the final crashing and burning of my writing career; rather, it is just another learning experience along the way. The book hasn’t had any reviews yet; my next goal is to get some. And, of course, to keep producing output.

So, 2014. Resolutions? Nah. Not unless I can think of some funny ones. What I will do is keep writing, keep going, keep believing in a future where that payoff comes.

And right now, I do believe.

Today is a good day.

GenreCon Part 3: Sunday

Those who know me well can tell you I'm not much of a 'party person'. I rarely drink alcohol but when I do, I limit myself to a single beer or cider. I have a very low tolerance for alcohol (Violet calls me a cheap date), and I'd rather spend my money on other stuff. Plus, I'm the guy who leaves the party early. I get tired, I start feeling anxious, and I'm not fond of the long trip home (especially if there's a bus involved, one that stops running at 1 AM).

How, then, do I explain the partying I partook in Saturday night at the con? Well, that's easy. The con organizers supplied the drinks for the room parties, and my own room was only three doors away. No bus schedule to keep, no need to fret over finances. And the anxiety? Still there, but I didn't let it stop me.

I got drunk. Pleasantly drunk. I did not get wasted. Nor did I get tanked. Nor, I hasten to add, did I get smashed, plastered or hammered. Other people did (or so I heard), and paid a terrible price that involved barfing. Booze can be a harsh mistress. Nevertheless, I offer my thanks to the organizers of GenreCon for providing so much of it.

I had shots. With whipped cream in them! Yum. Made some new friends, got to know some current friends better. Then I got a little flirty... it was probably for the best that I packed it in and went to bed when I did. It was four AM by that point, and I had a lot to do in the morning.

Check out time for hotels is 11 AM. I had a panel at ten, which meant I had to be packed up and out of the room before then. And, I was not going to spend another $20 on breakfast; I would find the nearest Tim Horton's instead.

Which meant I had to be up and with it by nine at the latest. In fact, I rose at eight. I need time to get my shit together in the mornings, and I hate to rush. I made myself presentable and went out into the cool, foggy morning air, and twenty minutes later I had my tea, a bagel, and a box of Timbits to share. Life was good.

Checked out. Luggage stowed. Tea savoured. Bagen eaten. Time for my panel, Self-Publishing in the Age of the Internet with Elizabeth Hirst and Sarah Water Raven. Considering it was 10 AM on a con Sunday morning, attendance was very decent. The panel went well, and I learned a lot of important stuff about ebook publishing. Afterward Sarah and I went for Thai food, and got back in time for a panel about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At that point, my lack of sleep had begun to catch up with me.

My Pacific Rim panel could have gone better. Ryan Consell and I had a large audience, but five minutes in I realized I'd forgotten pretty much everything about the film. I remembered there were giant robots fighting giant monsters, and that the movie had been a lot better than that premise would suggest. And I think I repeated that at least three times. Fortunately Ryan had numerous beefs to pick with the movie's science, and that got a lot of discussion going. I should have done better, though. I've got to stop thinking I can simply wing a movie panel just because I've seen the film in question.

After that, the con was more or less over for me. I got more tea and did some writing, then began my numerous goodbyes. Sarah dropped me off at the Guelph University bus stop, and I was able to catch an earlier bus back to Toronto. I was sad to leave, but I was very happy to get home and see Violet and my two fuzzy boys again. And to get back on my computer and play Candy Crush. Man, had I missed that game!

Will I go to GenreCon again next year? That's certainly the plan. I hope I'll be able to report on the smash success of The Five Demons You Meet In Hell, and announce my next project. But even if I don't, I'm sure to have another good time!

GenreCon Part 2: Saturday

Where we last left off, I was about to embark on a very busy afternoon at GenreCon. Two PM had me on the panel 50 Years of Doctor Who, followed by my reading, followed by The Basics of Writing Genre, followed by my signing. At that point I'd have an hour long break, and then I'd do Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Benedict Cumberbatch at seven. Whew!

The panels were well-attended. My reading and book signing were not. Nevertheless, I had an enjoyable time. And I sold a few books! One I sold for a dollar to my new friend Tristin; he'd been to all my panels and my reading that afternoon and the previous evening, so he totally deserved it.

For the Doctor Who panel, I sat between two panelists (Paul Neale & Dalek Dreadnaught) who had insider knowledge of the upcoming 50th Year Anniversary special. It was very tempting to ask for spoilers, let me tell you! We discussed the highs and lows of the last fifty years of the show, and our hopes for the upcoming adventures of the 12th Doctor.

Sarah Water Raven joined me for my reading, and brought a bunch of kick-ass flyers for my upcoming novel The Five Demons You Meet In Hell with her. She also joined me at my table in the dealer's room for my signing, and we both sold a couple of books. These things are more fun when shared with a friend!

The Basics of Writing Genre was well-attended, at least at first. Bestselling novelist Kelley Armstrong was scheduled to be on the panel, but she'd received the wrong information and thought the panel was on Sunday! When it was clear she wasn't coming, a few of her fans got up and left. The room was still 3/4ths full, however, and aspiring novelist Ed Mochrie and I rose to the occasion. It was Ed's first panel ever, too. Like, ever! Gosh, I remember what that was like, way back in the spring of 2006's Ad Astra. Ed brought a lot to the table, and we had a very good discussion with our audience.

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Benedict Cumberbatch wouldn't have kept my wife Violet entertained for very long; most of the discussion was about the movie Star Trek Into Darkness, and not Benedict himself. Corrina McGill, Cory Albrecht and I talked about the film's strengths and flaws, of which there were many. A good friend of mine was kind enough to sit down with me a week or two back and list those flaws in alphabetical order, so I had plenty of material to draw upon. The majority of the audience (and panelists) seemed to have loved the film as much as I did, however, so a lot of that material was glossed over.

After the Star Trek panel, I headed to the hotel's restaurant with friends for dinner. The place was expensive but convenient, and the staff was just wonderful. One of the servers wore a suit identical to that of the 10th Doctor (by sheer coincidence!), and another one bought a copy of Section K.

The evening was very interesting; there was a dance, an epic card game, and room parties. And did I mention the genre-themed drinks? I had a TARDIS, vodka and some kind of blue juice that was quite yummy. Corrine invited me to the Cards Against Humanity game, and I volunteered to be a judge. The object of the game was to answer questions as rudely, inappropriately, or just plain horribly as possible using a selection of cards inscribed with various things. Hmm, I'm not explaining that very well... let me put it like this: in your selection of cards, you might have one that says kitten and another that says sandwich spread, and you might use them together if you got a fill-in-the-blank question like "A ______ makes a very good _______." Or you might use a card that says an adorable two-month-old baby with the question "What did you eat for breakfast?" Get the picture? And will you ever be able to get that picture out of your head? Sorry about that. Anyway, I took to the game like a butcher knife to a puppy's face - I just sank right in! Ooh, whoops. Did it again! I'm so evil.

And then, the fire alarm went off. Every hotel guest was evacuated to the parking lot, including all convention attendees and one very angry wedding party! They put forward their theories as to who was responsible for disrupting their happy nuptials, and came to two possible conclusions: the alarm had been triggered either by "some faggit" or "one of them cosplayers." Tempers ran hot, even though the temperature outside was very cold. I wished for my jacket, but I was one of the lucky ones - more than a few cosplayers were clad in little more than decorative underwear! The hotel staff moved us four times around the parking lot while the firefighters did their jobs, and we were finally allowed back in when the cause of the fire had been discovered a half-hour later. Turns out someone from the wedding party had lit a cigarette inside the hotel and set off the smoke detectors. Naturally, no apology was offered.

I missed my midnight panel on fanfiction due to the 'fire', so my programming responsibilities were finished for that day. I might have packed it in and gone to bed, but it turned out my night was just beginning...

GenreCon Part 3: Sunday Coming Soon!

GenreCon Part 1: Friday

I feel like I'm repeating myself whenever I talk about my experiences at Fandom conventions. I always say that I had enormous fun, felt like I belonged, and was sad to leave at the end. That would be because it's always true. GenreCon was yet another fulfilling experience for me, and I learned a lot of great stuff in the bargain.

For example, did you know that iron is probably the worst metal you could use to construct giant robots with? Pacific Rim got that wrong! And the current level of human technology does not have the ability to detect gravitron waves that may be increasing the mass of our planet. Tsk, tsk, Man of Steel! I also learned valuable information about publishing and selling ebooks, invaluable knowledge given my current writing career plans.

Friday was slow, an evening of settling in. I had no trouble getting to Guelph; I even got the driver to let me off a stop early at the university, practically next door to the Delta Guelph Hotel and Conference Centre! Lots of time and a taxi fare saved there! I checked in, registered, and dumped my stuff in my room, then set out to find my friends. And a cup of tea. I didn't worry about supper; I brought a couple of sandwiches to further cut down on my expenses.

My first panel was about the recent Superman movie, Man of Steel. My fellow panelist was Ryan Consell, a splendid chap with a mind for science who looks almost identical to the 10th Doctor. We had only two people in attendance, a bit disappointing considering how prepared I was. Nevertheless we had a good chat about the Superman films in general and the science mistakes in Man of Steel in particular, and generally had a good time.

I got the timing wrong for my next panel, the one on Geek Cliques. I showed up an hour early, and ended up participating in the panel on Canadian content in genre fiction with Jennifer Bickley and my friend and fellow author Elizabeth Mary Ann Hirst. We got some heated debates going, which is what you always hope for in a panel. Attendance was better, too - at least six people - and most of them stuck around for Geek Cliques afterward. Strong emotions were incurred as fellow panelists Corrina McGill, Michael Scott and I discussed the exclusion of unpopular fandoms, fandom hierarchies, and the concept of the 'fake geek girl'. In the end we came to two very noble conclusions: 1. all forms of prejudice or perceived superiority have no place in fandom; and 2. Twilight fans suck. ;)

Next I attended a reading by my good friend and cover artist for The Five Demons You Meet In Hell, Sarah Water Raven. Only a couple of people turned up; Friday nights, it would seem, really aren't very good for programming. Nevertheless we made the most of it; Sarah read from her novel Detective Docherty and the Demon's Tears, and I remember a lively discussion about killing characters in creative ways. Sarah and I went for a drink afterward, as this photo blurrily depicts.

I slept well, and treated myself to room service breakfast Saturday morning. It was expensive, but I could not resist the allure of bacon and homefries! And, I didn't know where to go to get anything cheaper. The morning was mine to do with as I pleased, but the afternoon had me booked solid from two o'clock until eight. I wandered about, checked out the dealer's room, and made a few new friends. Then I woofed down the last of my provisions and prepared myself for action...

GenreCon Part 2: Saturday is Coming Soon!

Off To GenreCon!

In just under half an hour I'll be jetting out of here and on my way to Guelph to attend GenreCon. Three days of fun and hard work mixed together in such a way that the work feels like fun but the fun still feels a little bit like work. It can be very tiring, doing a con. I can't imagine the strain the con organizers go through! So here's a thank you to all those who work long hours for weeks on end to make sci/fi cons happen. Couldn't do it without you guys, quite literally! You're the best.

I've done my homework this time around. I've got material for my panels, like a couple of magazine articles and stuff I pulled from the web. I will be a more mature panelist this time around. I wish I had more to show for the FanFiction panel; I've done so very little of it. Here's a link to Happy Landings, my Doctor Who story. Maybe the panel will inspire me to write more. Or maybe I'll be inspired to write more of my own stuff!

I'm still trying to decide what to read. I've narrowed it down a lot, however. Something from The Five Demons You Meet In Hell, for sure - that's the one I want to spread the word on! If I have time, I'll probably also throw in a bit of The Cupid War.

That's it for me! I'll have a full update on the con as soon as I can.

The Five Demons You Meet In Hell

That really big announcement I’ve been hinting at? Well, here it is:

On November 13, 2013, I will release my latest novel, The Five Demons You Meet in Hell on Amazon’s KDP program! Below you will see the finished cover artwork, courtesy of my artist friend Sarah Water Raven:

I’ve met many authors on Facebook and Twitter who have used Amazon to publish their novels electronically, with varying degrees of success. My first foray into the world of ebooks, Closets, has been something of a spectacular failure. I’m hoping that, with a more marketable novel aimed at an older audience, I will have more positive results.

So, set your clocks and start the countdown! And buy a Kindle. That would really help! And please, tell everyone you know, and even a few that you don’t, that Timothy Carter is back in the far-fetched fiction game!

It's August, the last month of the summer. The majority of super awesome blockbuster movies have come out, the CNE is almost upon us, and we've had hot days aplenty!

The world of work continues to confound me. Or, to put a more positive spin on my employment woes, the world of work continues to provide valuable material for me to draw upon for my fiction. I've had a couple of interviews; the first one seemed to go really well, but I didn't get the job. The second one also went very well. Does that mean I'm screwed?

Not necessarily, no. Only a negative, pessimistic, down-in-the-dumps person would think that! I am not that person. At least, not today.

I continue to write, but my speed and productivity have gone down. And, I seem to be suffering from rewriter's block. I'll do a post on that soon. And I've had another significant rejection to deal with. I'll blog about that soon, too. Nevertheless, I continue to advance the plot of Zombie Jesus Day. I'm keeping up with Toronto.com articles, and I'm always adding new reviews to Biblical Proportions. Here's the latest one.

I haven't been to a con since Ad Astra, which is sad. I do love them. For one reason or another I've missed a bunch of them this summer. I hope to make it to Can Con and SFContario in the fall. Of course, it's hard to get all gung-ho about promoting my stuff when I have so very little stuff left to promote... There I go, getting down again. It's hard not to, with depression on top of stressful circumstances. I need to turn things around, but it's going to take a lot of passion, energy, and hard work.

I still believe in the dream. I just wish I felt like the dream believed in me.

Ad Astra... All Of A Sudden!

Ad Astra, one of my favourite conventions, begins tomorrow. And I only found out yesterday.

Well, that's not entirely true. I am, after all, signed up for a table and four panels. I'd just lost track of time, and before I knew it here it is!

Lucky my wife Violet reminded me yesterday - I'd have hated to have found out Sunday evening!

Below are my panels and times. I will be selling copies of my novels (and probably a few toys) at my table the rest of the weekend. Hope to see lots of you there!


Saturday 10 am Ellsemere West - Changing Face of the
Paranormal in YA Fiction
Amanda Sun (m), Kelley Armstrong, Timothy Carter
Characters of diversity, worlds built on non-western mythologies, and stories influenced by anime, manga and gaming culture are combining to create a new face of Young Adult Fiction. This panel explores the face of fantasy and the paranormal in YA and how it is changing. How does it differ from the fantasy books we grew up with? You’ll have to join the conversation to find out.

Saturday 3 pm Ellsemere East - Demons, Werewolves, and
Necromancers
Douglas Smith (m), Jim Butcher, Timothy Carter, Andrew Pyper
There are new trends forming in the paranormal genre. Traditionally ‘evil’ characters are turned into heroes. Paranormal fiction is expanding and so is the demographic of people who read it. How do you keep these new ideas from becoming cliché? What works and what doesn’t? Attend this panel to plumb the depths – and shallows – of the unknowable.

Sunday 10 am Arctic - Bullying- TNG
Kari Maaren (m), Timothy Carter, Sgt. Pat Poitevin
As SF and fantasy nerds, we were probably bullied as kids. With the advent of cyber-bullying, how do we begin bully-proofing our own nerdy kids? Not to mention the more subtle bullying we’ve become subject to as adults. In this panel, conceive and discuss effective strategies for dealing with the Biff Tannens of this brave, new world.

Sunday 12 pm Berczy B - Fandom Mental Health Forum
adrienne everitt (m), Timothy Carter, Kate Daley
Fans come together to discuss their struggles with mental illness and how the deal with it, both within Fandom and in real life. We will provide resources for getting help, as well as some worksheets to take away. This panel focuses on creating a safe environment for people to share successes and failures in dealing with mental illness. This panel is a non-professional peer support initiative and is not intended to replace professional/medical advice.

SFContario Weekend Part II

And now for Sunday, the second half of my SFContario experience. Although it wasn't really half the experience - I had only two events, compared to the five I did the day before. Nevertheless, it was a very full and rewarding day!

My first event was the Writing in the Digital Age panel in Ballroom BC, with fellow panelists James Bambury, Lynna Merrill, and my new best friend Sarah Water Raven (seen here stuffing a pen up her nose).

The panel started at 10 in the AM, which is a problem to anyone who understands the Sunday schedule of the TTC. Basically, the trains don't start running until 9:00 AM, with very little service before that (including my local bus!). From the time the first bus of the day picked me up, I had about 45 minutes to get to the panel on time! And somewhere in there, I had to squeeze in another cup of tea, too! Once more I was extremely grateful for that Tim Hortons inside Finch Station.

I got to the Ramada Plaza Hotel in decent time (read: not too late), but I still had to find Ballroom BC. See, the rooms in that hotel were tricky to find without a strong sense of irony. After all, the Gardenview had no view of a garden, the Courtyard wasn't anywhere near an actual courtyard, and the Solarium had no sun. The name Ballroom BC suggests a very large dancing room with a stone-age theme, so I knew I to look for a small room with lots of tech lying around. And that's pretty much what I found!

The panel itself was insightful and fun. I got a chance to gripe about how I had to learn Internet marketing by trial and error, and the others spoke about what had worked for them. I learned some good tips about ebook publishing, for which I am grateful to my co-panelists.

Afterward, I visited the con-suite with Sarah the pen-sniffer and her minion, Keli. It really is terrific for authors and other panelists to have a place to go and relax with a snack and a drink in-between our scheduled bits of programming. Having had a table at most other cons, I would often return to said table instead of taking advantage of the con-suitey goodness on offer. My lack of a table this time meant I sold fewer books, but I had the chance to unwind in the company of some awesome people. And Keli the minion bought a copy of Section K from me, so it was awesomeness all around (thank you, Keli!).

My last bit of official programming was a book signing, located in the Hallway. Which hallway was the Hallway? That's what I had to find out with all speed. Luckily I received directions, and was delighted to discover that the Hallway was, in fact, a hallway! No irony in that designation at all. I shared a table with Violette Malan and two other authors whose names I really should have written down (sorry, guys!). The Hallway was empty, with nobody for us to sign books for. It looked to be a very dull and depressing hour...

...but then my friend Rebecca Lovatt arrived with brownie cookies and chocolate chip & cookie dough muffins! And there was much rejoicing. Nom, nom, nom!!! Words cannot describe how awesome Rebecca's baked goods are, so I won't waste any trying. No books were sold or signed, but boy were we well-fed! Nom, nom, I say again, nom!

The signing ended, the muffins were woofed, and one last bit of business for me remained. My friend and fellow author Ira Nayman (Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be) had requested a copy of my first published novel, Attack of the Intergalactic Soul Hunters. Who was I to day no? He is probably the last person on Earth to have purchased a copy... at least until I sell it to another publisher!

I left that day feeling grand. SFContario had been good to me, and I definitely plan to return next year.

SFContario Weekend

Another good time was had by me at SFContario. Or, rather, I had another good time at SFContario! Much better. Always avoid passive voice if you can.

But I was far from passive at last weekend's convention, ever so conveniently located(for me, anyway) in the heart of downtown Toronto. I turned up bright and early on Saturday morning at the Ramada Plaza Hotel, ready to do my half-hour reading, three panels and Kaffeeklatsch(which I still can't pronounce). My reading at 11 was poorly attended, but two wonderful people did turn up midway through to hear me read from The Cupid War. Suzanne Church came in for the next reading, and she was just terrific. She read a story in which Death orders breakfast at a diner before going to Niagara Falls. All three of us were hooked, hanging on her every word. Then she ended her reading without finishing the story, which can only be seen as an intolerable act of cruelty. >:( Shame on you, Suzanne Church, for writing such a compelling story!

I went from the readings straight into my first panel, Urban Fantasy. Joining me were fellow authors Violette Malan, Michael Mattheson, Shirley Meier. Turns out I was the moderator! That's not something you want to find out at the last minute! I'm happy to report that I rose to the occasion; I thought up some decent questions to ask my fellow panelists, and kept things running smoothly.

The Kaffeeklatsch was a non-event. I hung out in the room with my good friend Mike Bryant for half an hour, then we left to go have lunch. I had the blandest bowl of beef and barley soup I have ever eaten; not gross, just kinda ho-hum. Glad I brought my own sandwich.

At 4 o'clock it was time for revenge. And guilt. Scheduled to appear with me on the Vengeance and Guilt as Motivation panel were Herb Kauderer, Michael Mattheson, Gareth McGorman, Tony Pi, Caitlin Sweet. And yet, I seem to remember only four people on that panel, including me. I can't say exactly who was missing... I should've taken names at the door! Anyhoo, the panel went well...ish. I got a little muddled while trying to make a point about heroic behaviour vs. vengeance. Overall, though, it was okay. Not feeling vengeful. Maybe a little guilty.

My final bit of programming for Saturday was SF and Gender, with Kathryn Allan, Shirley Meier and Sarah Water Raven. I was a tiny bit late, having left the con to grab a burger and do some writing. Ten minutes can only stretch so far! I spoke once again about James Alan Gardner's Commitment Hour. And that's about all the speaking I was able to get in! It felt a bit like the others were hogging the conversation, but that's only because they were so very enthusiastic about the subjectmatter. The panel covered a lot of ground, and managed to be completely different from the similar panel I did at Can*Con (except for me talking about Commitment Hour, which is a fabulous book).

Sarah Water Raven had come to promote her new novel, Detective Docherty and the Demon's Tears, and SFContario was her first con! She and I hit it off, and I wasted no time making fun of her main character's last name. Y'know, Docherty. Doche-rty? Douche-bag? Well, I thought it was funny...

I think I'll stop here for now, and make a new post for Sunday. Until then!

SFContario Schedule

Next weekend I will be attending SFContario at the Ramada Plaza Hotel on 300 Jarvis St. It won't be that far of a walk from College Subway Station; for once, I'll be attending a con that is really, really easy to get to by TTC!

I have no programming on the Friday, but Saturday looks to be quite busy. Here is my schedule in brief:

Reading - Saturday 11:00 AM Gardenview

Urban Fantasy: Fairies Around Every Corner (Timothy Carter, Violette Malan, Michael Mattheson, Shirley Meier) Saturday 12:00 PM, Solarium

Kaffeeklatsch – Saturday 2:00 PM Room 207

Guilt and Vengeance as a Motivation in Fiction (Timothy Carter, Herb Kauderer, Michael Mattheson, Gareth McGorman, Tony Pi, Caitlin Sweet) Saturday 4:00 PM, Courtyard

SF and Gender (Kathryn Allan, Timothy Carter, Shirley Meier, Lynna Merrill) Saturday 6:00 PM, Solarium

Writing in the digital age (James Bambury, Timothy Carter, Lynna Merrill) Sunday 10:00 AM, Ballroom BC

I also have a book signing session on Sunday at Noon.

Just what is an Kaffeeklatsch? I had to ask about that.

Apparently it is some sort of round table discussion between myself and approximately 20 people on... anything. I suppose I'll talk about my areas of expertise: writing, blogging, conventions, Transformers, Doctor Who, being unemployed, freaky religious stuff, mental health, and tea.

This will be my last con of 2012 (or ever, depending on what happens on December 21st!), so I plan to have as much fun as possible. It will be a long stretch before my next one, Ad Astra 2013.

I'll Be A Panelist @ SFContario!

This month I'll be taking part in a new sci/fi convention - well, new to me that is. I met some of the SFContario people at Can*Con, and before I knew it I was made a panelist at their con!

Cool beans.

I'll be doing a reading from The Cupid War, participating in at least four panels, and taking part in an autograph session, too. I will not have a table, however; fans who want signed copies will have to bring their own. I'll bring some, but only what I can carry.

The con takes place on November 9, 10 & 11. I'll update with more information soon!

Can*Con 2012 - Saturday

On Saturday I checked into the hotel. We could have stayed with my folks again, but having a room at the hotel just seemed easier. I wanted to have the freedom to do con stuff late into the night without worrying about how I was getting home(OC Transpo and I have, shall we say, a sordid history). Besides, staying in a hotel is kind of exotic. And it was great for Violet and I to have a place to dump our suitcases.

I had no panels that day, so I spent a lot of time in the dealer's room selling my stuff. I was delighted to see so much interest in Evil and The Cupid War - it was my first Ottawa convention, so I was introducing myself to a lot of new people. Do you have any idea how amazing it is to look over and see someone reading a book you wrote? Well, trust me, it's fantastic. But almost as fantastic was hearing the person next to them saying, "I'm stealing this from you. This looks awesome!" Thank you for that, S.M. Carriere (author of The Dying God & Other Stories)!

Apart from my novels, I was also trying to unload some of my Transformers toys. I know I made some fellow Trans-fans very happy (I'm looking at you, John Seed!).

In the afternoon, I attended a panel on marketing one's novel(with Marie Bilodeau, Matt Moore, Allan Isfan and Above author Leah Bobet), and learned the benefits of not being an a$$h0le. Apparently that's a really bad thing. All kidding aside, though, I came away from that panel with plenty to think about. Afterward, Marie joined Violet and I for dinner at a small Vietnamese restaurant across the road from the hotel. Good soup, and lots of it; when they say a large bowl, they really mean LARGE!

That night I went to the ChiZine launch party for John Park's new novel Janus. I missed his reading, sadly, but I got there in time for good conversation and plenty of beer! It was a perfect way to unwind after the events of the day.

Then I slept. Just down the hallway from the dealer's room. Super convenient, and it sure beats lugging a suitcase full of books back and forth by transit, lemmie tellya!

Can*Con 2012 - Friday

Last weekend I attended Can*Con, a sci/fi convention in my home town of Ottawa. It reminded me a lot of Ad Astra and Con-Cept - not too large, and more of a literary focus. Actually, I was surprised at how small the convention space actually was; three panel rooms, a con-suite, and a tiny little dealer's room! I worried the con wouldn't be very well attended, but that concern was quickly put to rest. I sold lots of books, had a great time, and hope to make my attendance an annual thing.

I have a lot to say, so I'm splitting this post into three parts - one for each day of the con.

Violet & I arrived by train Thursday afternoon and stayed over with my parents. It's been a long time since I got to spend quality time with them, and the convention provided a wonderful opportunity to kill two stones with one bird! My folks drove us to and from the hotel on Friday night, which was extremely kind; they live in Orleans, which is as far East of Ottawa as the hotel is West! They must love me or something(Awwww!!!). It was nice to show them what I do for an almost-living!

We arrived in time for the Paper Airplane Contest, hosted by my friend and fellow author Marie Bilodeau. But she was no friend to anyone that night, oh no... as judge of the contest, she was a living embodiment of fear itself! I still have nightmares(hold me). There were many impressive and flight-worthy airplanes made from paper that night. Mine was not one of them.

Nevertheless, the evening was a joy. To get the extra-special folding paper, Marie insisted we sing. I stood and gave a terrific rendition of the Lumberjack song, with Violet as my Best-Girl-By-My-Side. I also made friends with some kids, all of whom gave me their paper airplanes afterward. It may have been out of pity, but I prefer to think of it as a sweet gesture!

We didn't stay any later Friday night, preferring to save our energy for Saturday. The Saturday post is coming soon...